Wednesday, May 25, 2011

So long, farewell.

The Sound of Music is one of my favorite movies, even though I do think that they could have just ended it at the wedding instead of doing the whole "let's hide from the Nazis and the oddly attractive Aryan mailman!"

With that being said, I think it's time to close up shop around here on Skeleton Key. As much as I love waxing philosophic about two-finger peacock rings and the search for the perfect pair of jorts, I feel like life has taken me in some interesting directions in the past few months. While none of those lead away from caring deeply about washing mustiness out of thrifted clothes, I find myself having less and less to write about here.

Because I fervently believe in over-sharing, I've started a new blog over here: http://exlibrisetcetera.tumblr.com/. It's basically about being a library science student and enjoying glasses. Super deep. Luckily, I'm crazy interested in the idea of being some sort of costume/fashion librarian (those exist! I swear), so my heart will never be far from fashion in one form or another.

Thanks to any and all of you that stopped by or left a comment, and thanks to all of the bloggers on my sidebar for continuing to provide me with lovely, fascinating content to devour. I certainly won't be taking a break from visiting those blogs anytime soon.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Stayin' safe and unsexy

Soapbox warning: Um, I'm getting on one.

I have a whole host of fashion bloggers that I admire and love reading on a daily basis. Recently, one of them posted about a supercute helmet that made even them, someone who hates helmets and doesn't wear one, want to own it.

Now, I'm especially sensitive about helmets these days. I recently had a lil' spill on my trusty bike, and because I was wearing my huge, nerdy teal helmet, I was only hurt a bit rather than QUITE a bit. It made me think: do we always need to be looking stylish and sleek? I've gotten a new helmet since this tumble, and it screams "HEY! ALL I DO IS KEEP YOUR BRAINS FROM SPILLING OUT" even more than my teal number. But do I care? Nope. My hair is always flat after taking my helmet off, and any cute twists or braids I've attempted are decidedly un-cute. And a beehive? Not unless I'm walkin'. It's decent at keeping my head warm in the winter, but since I'm a normal person and sweat, I absolutely despise wearing my helmet in the spring and summer.

However, despite all of its sartorial shortcomings, it does one thing that my on-trend maxi skirts and platform sandals can never do: keep me safe and riding for many years to come.

Girls just wanna wear jorts

As much as I hate combining words, I'm coming around to "jorts", the bastardization of "jean shorts." It's just so ANNOYING to have to ask the Goodwill lady where they keep their jean shorts stock. I'd rather just say "hey girlfriend, where those jorts at?" Me and the Goodwill lady are on excellent terms, by the way.

Why the sudden obsession with jorts? Because Portland is proving itself to be a damn fine place in the springtime every 14 days or so. And once every two weeks, I want to be ready with my summer finery! Also, I can't wait until my summer finery consists of fancier things than frayed denim shorts. My previous pair, which I will call Hotpants McPaintStains, really needs to be retired. They are glorified jean underpanties. So, the search for a suitable replacement begins. And I won't rest until they're acquired for under $10!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

So what DO I wear everyday?

Yup. Also, please appreciate the effort it took to take a photo without my face in it. The face takes much-deserved attention away from the shirt.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Falsehoods

I, in fact, do not live in Brooklyn, but I think this poster is pretty darn cute. Buy it here, if you're so inclined.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The trials of online browsing, part 45

Not kidding when I say that I am THRILLED that these babies are sold out in my size. I do not need to spend $55 on pretty shoes that will see the light of day approximately 3 times.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Skirt-us maximus

Honestly, I'm writing this post because if I see Jean Seberg's adorable face staring back at me for one more day, I will chop all of my hair off. AND THAT CANNOT HAPPEN. Guys, I have a passion for long hair the way that some people have a passion for world peace. I wish I were kidding, but I look at my hair far more than I look for headlines about what's happening in Libya.

Vain declarations aside, I do have something worth chatting about. MAXI SKIRTS. As I explained in my "Jean Seberg is super hot" post, I have a thing for wanting the exact opposite of what I have. Such is the human condition. Therefore, since I live in Portland (rain, rain, GET OUT OF HERE) and bike/walk to most of my destinations, my wardrobe doesn't really have a place for floor-length skirts and dresses. The miniskirts that I loved wearing in frigid Chicago temperatures are actually perfect for biking (while wearing leggings, obvi). Which is why I can't stand them, and only want long skirts. But they are just so romantic and whimsical and wonderful! I feel like I'm always sweeping into places when I wear longer lengths, and there really is nothing better than a grand entrance.

My solution? Buy 'em up cheap at thrift stores and fasten 'em up with a rubberband when I'm biking. It may not be the most attractive solution, but neither is shortenin' my words, and that certainly hasn't stopped me in the past.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Patience

You know what's terrible about growing your hair out? Wanting to cut your hair everyday. Having grand delusions that if you just cut your hair, you would look EXACTLY like Jean Seberg in Breathless (pictured above from aestheticalterations.blogspot.com) and feel like a million bucks all the time.

Now, I'm aware that I will not look like Jean Seberg if I cut my hair. Even though I have a striped shirt, and am awfully good and holding a rolled-up piece of paper. But there's just something about having short hair that I always want. I've had a pixie haircut at least three times in my life (that I can recall), yet within a few months--or a few weeks in some cases--I'm dutifully growing it out because I want to look like Rapunzel.

Methinks there's some kind of lesson here in being happy with what you have when you have it. However, I'm too busy imagining myself as that doll whose hair you can instantly lengthen and shorten with just one tug to really flesh it out.

Monday, March 28, 2011

C'MON, SPRING

Hurry up, weather. I'm tired of boots. Yes, these are Born sandals, otherwise known as the shoe brand that I make fun of my mom for wearing. But they're cushy! And spring/summery! GIVE ME NOW.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Vacation (all I ever wanted)

This pic came from a site called hollywoodteenmovies.com. Yup, must remember to visit that more often.

My boyfriend and I are headed to the Oregon coast for a few days, so while it won't look anything like Beach Blanket Bingo, it will be a great excuse to relax and scream "spring break!" every 10 minutes. My beachwear includes a cardigan, leggings, and rain boots. Oregon, I love you! Hopefully I'll have all sorts of stories upon my return. It's more likely that I'll just have lots of taffy, but we'll see.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Business pajamas

Sometimes, when you're an intern, you feel like you can break the office dress code a little more often than the people that actually get paid when they're sick and can't work. Enter: business pajamas.

Part 1: Take a cotton pajama slip (ugh, I hate the word "chemise" so much, even though I think that's what it's called in real life).

Part 2: Put a shirt and a cardigan over it.

Part 3: Go to work and snicker about how much you're breakin' the dress code law.

Too bad I work in Portland in a fairly casual office, which means that people wear blankets when they're cold and sometimes don't have shoes on. At least the internet can appreciate my rebellion.

Also, a very happy anniversary to my lovely parents!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

She bangs!


Bangs = excuse for a webcam picture a week after the cut. Done by me, and evened out by my boyfriend. In addition to singing the overlooked Ricky Martin song all the time now, I oscillate between feeling like this classy lady and this other one.

Keepin' it special!

See, when I don't blog for weeks, it's not because I'm uninspired or forgetful--I'm just keeping the blog special! If I did it with any regularity, it would just be a letdown, right? I vote yes.

In the past few weeks, it was confirmed that A) Natalie Portman DID wear a (terribly boring) purple Rodarte dress to the Oscars, B) I don't do well when my computer gets a virus and it takes longer than 24 hours to prepare, C) I am able to get a second job (in a library, too! Yippee skippee!), and D) Portland's gre(a)y weather is getting to me.

When I lived in IL, I loved a good rainy day. It was a nice excuse to not do anything and eat warm food while huddled under a blanket. Unfortunately, when you have 280-odd days of rain/gre(a)y weather a year, not doing anything and eating warm food while huddled under a blanket all the time is called a deep depression. Rats. To cure this, I'm trying to jump on the bandwagon of seasonal brights. Who doesn't love a good Honeysuckle, Pantone's 2011 color of the year! Sidenote: How I would LOVE to sit in on these meetings, debating the merits of kumquat over turquat, or whatever they choose to name their official colors.

So far, transitioning my wardrobe of largely black, grey, taupe, and sometimes red (pow! a pop of color!) is proving to be a little difficult, but I have hope that I'll soon be looking like Carmen Miranda. I just need an extra banana.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

WHERE IS NATALIE PORTMAN?

I yell at the Oscars' red carpet coverage like some people yell at their TV during football games. The best part is that I don't even have a TV, so I'm screaming at my computer (yay Oscar.com for streaming the red carpet!) like a crazy old biddie with stock in whether or not Natalie Portman will actually wear purple Rodarte.

Note: Just clicked back to the coverage, and was greeted by Sharon Stone's HUGE feathery floral shoulder corsage piece and massive beehive. Lady, you never fail to deliver.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Soapboxin'

WARNING: In case you can't tell, this is going to be a post about the recent House of Representatives vote to defund Planned Parenthood. I'm no expert on the issue, but I have opinions and a blog, so here you go. Posts about shoes, food, and jewels will resume shortly.

My first thought when I heard the result of the vote was "HOLY FUCK." My second thought was, "No really, HOLY FUCK." For every person that's saying "calm down, it's not like they're making birth control illegal!", I get it. But they're making it expensive. And for people who don't have insurance, that's shitty. Pardon my lack of eloquence on the topic. I'm currently lucky enough to be under my parents' health insurance, but if I weren't, I would be spending a good deal of money to maintain my sexual health. Which really, is what every girls dreams of having to do with her money. My part-time job doesn't offer me benefits, and it's pretty difficult to find a full- or part-time job around here that I'm qualified for that does. Trust me, I've tried.

It's difficult to pinpoint what exactly about this cut makes me most angry. Could it be the fact that this is basically damning low-income and/or uninsured women to start praying that they don't get pregnant? Well, I guess that's a big deal. For now though, I'd like to focus on the reactions that people have had to this. It has been reassuring to hear and read all of the outrage that women (and men) are having over this defunding possibility. However, one comment that I wish would stop is "Planned Parenthood isn't just an abortion provider! They provide low-cost birth control so that abortions don't even have to be an option." Now, this is true. Some PP facilities don't even provide abortions, and they are incredible at providing affordable birth control. But what I don't think people understand is that by saying abortion doesn't need to be an option as long as birth control is available, they're halfheartedly agreeing with those that proposed the budget cuts to PP so that they wouldn't be funding abortions. Let's review the facts: no birth control, besides refraining from vaginal intercourse, is 100% effective.

I work with a pregnancy/abortion/adoption/all-around options hotline, and have talked to plenty of women who got pregnant while on the pill and using condoms, and one special woman who got pregnant even after taking the morning after pill. They did not want to have kids, so they took precautions. Which didn't work. So let's not fool ourselves into thinking that providing access to birth control eliminates the need for abortions. No matter which way you look at it, an abortion is a necessary, safe (when done by a licensed provider), and often simple procedure. It can be incredibly emotionally draining and life-changing for some, produce no emotional change whatsoever in a person, turn a woman into a pro-life activist, turn a woman into a pro-choice activist, keep a woman off of welfare, have no impact on her station in life whatsoever, and about a million other things. Abortions are not universally awful, horrifying, or transformative. Sometimes, they're just a five- to fifteen-minute procedure that causes some physical pain.

Am I trying to be cavalier about abortions? Certainly not. I'm simply pointing out that no matter how uncomfortable abortions make us, we owe it to women and ourselves to have honest discussions about birth control in all forms--abortions, condoms, the pill, emergency contraception, and the like. If we keep saying things like "well, I think low-cost birth control (i.e. the pill, condoms) is great, because then we don't need abortions", we're only leaving ourselves vulnerable for people to come in and say, "we're so glad you agree! Make sure you take your pill on time, wrap up your partner, and we should all be good! When you're not, have fun trying to take care of a baby."

Here's hoping that the Senate shuts this ridiculous shit down. I love my Planned Parenthood, and would hate for them to lose a substantial funding source.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Style ruts

In thinking about this post, I referred to my state of being as a style runt rather than a rut. So, candy photos are in order. Sidenote: How great is it that this picture comes from a place called CandyBlog? I like to think that if people aren't reading my blog, they're busy reading about lollipops.

Wearing the same 30 items for 30 days is boring. It's not like I don't have outfits to wear, either. Since I'm quite the Type A-er, I love nothing more than planning out outfits, so I have plenty at my disposal. It's just that I never thought I would lust after a certain t-shirt or a pair of jeans. I do enjoy that my wardrobe is going to seem SO HUGE after this month is up, though. If anything, this challenge has made me think about the other ruts that I'm in. I realized that other day that I haven't listened to a new band in, oh, 6 months? All I listen to is Girl Talk and Diana Ross. I used to be so hip! I think those days are long gone.

However, one thing that I haven't gotten in a rut with is food. Having a part-time job and part-time school really allows for one to cook up a storm. On the docket today was ketchup-fried rice (quiet now, it's wayyy less trashy than it sounds), egg-less cookie dough, and homemade ice cream to mix it in! No, I didn't churn anything or purchase a five-pound bag of rock salt. My friend Corinne posted a link to this blog, and I knew that I had to make ice cream right away. Or seven hours later when I bought a can of sweetened condensed milk and a pint of heavy cream. It's still in the freezing stage, but you best believe that I'll be posting about whether or not I succeeded with it.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The perfect boots


IT IS THEM. You know they're a big deal when 1) I actually take a picture and manage to make it appear on my blog, 2) I pose them in my closet/hallway hybrid. Normally, I don't freak out about shoes. Some part of me thinks that I'd be just as happy with fancy bags on my tootsies as long as it meant I could use that money to buy a knuckleduster of a ring or that really fancy cheese they sell at the organic grocery store.

But these are shoes I can get behind. They make me feel like an extra in There Will Be Blood (or True Grit, or whatever Western you've enjoyed in the past 50 years), the grey coloration means that they can get scuffed up and no one will notice, and they zip up the sides so that I don't have to remember how to tie my shoelaces. Perfect boots for the win!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Heartz!

This picture is from an adorable accessory website called ban.do, and while I love me a good red heart sparkle pin, the model is looking utterly confused. Like, "how did I end up with a messy topknot? And where did this perfect shade of lipstick come from?" Though I would be lying if I said that I wasn't growing my hair out to achieve that exact level of topknottery. And confusion.

I hope that everyone is having a GLORIOUS Valentine's Day and lovin' on yourselves and others the way the saints would have wanted us to. My manfriend (just trying out some new labels) and I celebrated over the weekend since he's spoken for today. Law school is his wife, I'm just the awesome mistress. Anywho, my plans for this evening include eating taco soup, making cornbread muffins, and watching Dear John while crying over Channing Tatum (the aforementioned "John") not being in Step Up 2 the Streets or Step Up 3D.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Fierce beauty


Hi all! This isn't what I wore for my second day of the 30 for 30 challenge. Though be proud--I haven't reverted to emergency pants yet! I'll wait until day 4 for that. No, I felt it was important to reblog this photo of Rosie the Riveter from my friend's blog.

I've never been much for the propaganda posters of Rosie the Riveter, but something about seeing a picture of the real-life inspiration (Geraldine Doyle, who just passed away) for the WWII icon was, well...inspiring. She looks so impossibly beautiful, and since I've been in a slump these past few days, I'll take all the gorgeous bits I can get.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Behind the times

Honestly, you'd think with all the lack of blogging going on around here that I had a full-time life or something. But no, I've simply been spending most of my free time cooking, reading other blogs that are updated way more frequently than mine, and toddling around town.

To get myself in the swing of things, I've decided to do the 30 for 30 challenge that Kendi Everyday is hosting. Hosting? Yeah, we'll go with that. The deal is this: you don't shop for a month, and you can only pick 30 items of clothing to wear over a 30-day time period. For real bloggers, they also have to photograph their outfits everyday, but since we all know I'm not real, there probably won't be any photographs 'round here.

Unless you guys want creepy webcam shots, which I am MORE than willing to supply. I've got my "gazing coyly at the lens while touching my collarbone" pose mastered. Also, my lack of photographs may make me a renegade participant. I was born to rebel.

Now, things like underpants, coats, and accessories don't count toward the 30 items, which is why I feel confident about this challenge. I should definitely be able to cobble together a pair of desperation pants from two scarves and some undies if necessary. So, check back in every so often to read about how I fare/see what desperation pants really look like!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Cycle style

God, it's taking every ounce of restraint to not edit this post title and call it "Cycle Chic!" Instead, I'll get down to brass tacks and talking about two loves of my Portland life: staying clothed, and riding a bicycle.

Now, I'll totally admit to being a pansy anytime I have to ride my bike in A) rain or B) temperatures under 35 degrees. I whine, stomp, talk about how much I love cars, and finally throw myself on a bicycle and into the streets, pouting for the first 3 minutes of riding. Then I start smiling, because if there's anything I love more than cars, it's feeling like I'm a badass for riding a bike in anything less than sunny, warm weather. However, these less-than-ideal rides are made all the better by the proper cycling attire.

1) Long underwear: Oh man. My parents got me two sets of long underwear for Christmas, and they make my bod feel like a microwave. OK, maybe not that warm, but long underwear leggings are FAR superior to regular leggings. More importantly, both of those are better than jeans. Seriously, you may think that pants are a better cold-weather alternative than thick tights and a dress, but you're wrong. Unless you are wearing the world's skinniest jeans (if so, well done), air will sneak up into your pant legs and chill you to the bone. So throw on quality tights, leggings, or long underwears. And thank me all the time.

2) Hooded scarf/neckerchief: I'm a traditional scarf gal and love a good pashmina or crocheted tunnel scarf. In rainy weather though, the last thing that you want is a ton of wet fabric (or worse, wet yarn) hanging around your neck. Enter smaller, more awesome versions of neckwarmers. My friend Amanda - who conveniently just opened an Etsy shop: check it out! -made me a lovely blue fleece hooded scarf to wear under my helmet, and I've been toasty ever since. The neckerchiefs are INCREDIBLE because your face gets really chapped during winter riding, and it's great to have something warm and cute to pull over your mouth and nose. Bonus points if you rob a bank afterwards.

3) Water/windproof gloves: Yeah, I still haven't bought a pair. But let me tell you, as the girl who has had one too many pairs of gloves to dry out, waterproof gloves that keep your mitts warm are essential.

If you don't ride a bike, you can still wear all of this stuff and look cute and prepared should something steal your car and leave you with a bicycle!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Peacocks, ahoy!

Too much? IMPOSSIBLE.


Note: This link has died. Proof that this peacock bib necklace was, in fact, too much. Kisses!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Warning: Sexy bracelets ahead

Is it weird that I keep wanting to buy the "Fantasy shapes" edition of Silly Bandz due to my slim hope that the shapes will be sex toys and Kama Sutra positions?

Probably.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Phase 1

This is not my boyfriend, but rather, a picture of an attractive man from TheSartorialist.blogspot.com.

If I were a more critical and self-aware person, I would say that I'm taking the military talk a bit too far with Operation Clothe My Boyfriend. However, I'm not, so let's get into formation and talk about the plan of attack. If that is, in fact, what the military does.

So, I had New Year's Eve off of work. My boyfriend is on vacation as well, and as we were eating our regular breakfast of heart-shaped pancakes with chocolate chip smiley faces, he asked if we could go shopping today. Alright, in all honesty, it didn't happen like that. I mean, that's what we eat for breakfast every day, but he asked me to go shopping after I showed him the "lookbook" I compiled for him. To which he kept compulsively referring to because he secretly wishes he was a stylist. Unfortunately, the lookbook wasn't as look-y or book-y as I'd like. It was a two-page Word doc consisting of links to American Apparel, Urban Outfitters, The Yellow Bird Project, and Threadless.

In other words, it was REVOLUTIONARY. Inspired by my ability to copy and paste links, we rushed off to the nearest Urban Outfitters and tore the place apart. Which means that he bought a charming cardigan and great shirts that aren't falling apart. Note to boyfriend, who I know is reading this: Yes, your shirts are falling apart. Stop thinking they aren't. I've got to consider myself lucky--it's not difficult to get this kid to shop. Spending money isn't his favorite thing to do, but as long as I keep saying "you look adorable! We should go make out behind that ironic display of Hello Kitty pillows and thermal t-shirts!", he's willing to do it.

Phase 2: Um, get him to buy more clothes. This isn't consumption for consumption's sake, though I love that. I've been given a budget, and Lord knows I'm sticking to it. But he needs more than 4 shirts and a cardigan. Maybe a man satchel? Calling it a "satchel" probably negates any masculinity that putting "man" before it connotes, but still. I'll look into it.