Eating crow and wearing short skirts

Bonus points to anyone who wants to research and explain to me why "eating crow" is akin to "sticking foot in mouth." I think both are fairly vile sayings, but both would be apt to describe this novel-length post. READ IT, KIDS.

Short skirts. How do we feel about them? Do we laugh at and judge girls that have to bend over in a special way so as to not reveal their ladybits? Do we silently point and giggle, while cursing the societal images that supposedly encourage dressing like a "whore," and questioning who the hell decided what a "whore" looked like? Or do we say "Damn, bitch! Where'd you get that awesome thing? I WANT IT IN THREE DIFFERENT COLORS."

I'm asking these questions after a particularly interesting Facebook exchange (yes, those do exist) I had this morning with a friend of mine. In a very thoughtful way, she called me out on yesterday's post, pointing out how she was caught off guard by my comment that the model should use her hair bow as a chastity belt, because it didn't sound like something I would say.

The best thing she said though was that it almost seemed like I was siding with bros who say ridiculous things like "well, with a skirt that short, she's totally asking for it."

Oh, shit.

It's interesting how many times I find my third-wave feminist beliefs (distilled down to: sex is awesome, girls should be able to act however they want, yay rah!) both clashing with and complementing my fashion sense. Even though I wear skirts and dresses that are far shorter than the Minnie Mouse model's, I tell myself that I'm doing it "ironically," as if that makes me more clever than a girl who wears a short skirt out to a bar because she likes her legs, and thinks guys (or girls) will like them too. Judging women (sorry guys, I don't feel like you get as harshly judged as the ladies do) by their clothing choices is one of the easiest things one can do, and yet it can be one of the most damaging things to do.

People act like making comments about too much clevage or leg showing is nothing, but in a very obvious way, these comments are another way to keep women from gaining too much confidence and in turn, power. It's truly not that far of a leap from the 19th century sentiment of "oh, Beatrice, your ankles are showing! Whatever will your husband say about your loose morals!" to the 21st century blame game of "Oh, sorry, whore. Did your tiny skirt get in the way of having sex with my boyfriend?? God, of course he can't keep his pants on when your crotch is in his face."

What I've tried to drive home all along on my blog is this: the way we choose to clothe ourselves says a whole lot more than just "well, I can't be naked, so I guess I need to have clothes." These choices can destroy or build up the confidence level of the dresser, say more about a person's personality than any acutal interaction with them, and cause a hell of a lot of controversy.

Frankly, I'd like to delete my last post. I'm disappointed and uncomfortable with how quickly I chose to make a snarky comment about a length of skirt that I wear on a near-weekly basis, especially when I think about how "pro-women making their own sartorial choices" I consider myself to be. My discomfort is magnified when especially when I read stuff like this. I invite you to read the whole article, but in case your eyes are tired from this post, I'll highlight one crucial point.

"According to the Daily Mail, 24 percent of women aged 18 to 24 believe that "wearing a short skirt, accepting a drink or having a conversation with the rapist made victims partly responsible [for their rapes]" (emphasis mine).

Wowzers. Here's to silently hanging out in bars while sipping water and wearing burlap sacks, I guess! While I think it's important to have a sense of humor about fashion as well, it's far more important to have discussions about why moral judgments (whether they're meant to be funny or not) are so quickly made on women who are just trying to wear what they want.