It's been too long, internets! I missed you so. Mainly though, I just missed talking about shoes. So, without further ado, allow me to selfishly share my latest pur
OMG THERE'S NO TIME FOR CLEVER PROSE! I BOUGHT TRANNY SHOES!
That's right. Alyssa Vincent, formerly of 5'5" fame, can now stand at a solid 5'10" WHENEVER SHE WANTS. And has apparently earned the right to refer to herself in third person. I bought black platform heels that are 5" tall from Charlotte Russe, also known as Where Pre-Teen Girls Blossom Into Pre-Teen Sluts.
RuPaul, eat your heart out.
They're beautiful, and will soon break my ankles. But until then, I'm having a delightful time trying to make them look as effortless and innocent as ballet flats. And my wearing them is helping my mom develop a solid bank of hooker jabs, which is always a plus. Her best so far? "Are you going to work right now? Like, 'work' work?"
4 comments:
Teetering on your front porch, you looked like a gorgeous transvestite. The kind where you're like, wait, what are you?
I had a wonderful day today. Strange how NCC can make Wheaton feel like vacation.
All love,
Amy
Just wait for Starved Rock. I'm going to have sooo many hikers questioning my gender. Because yes, those will be my climbin' shoes.
A beautiful day yesterday. Come vacation any time. <3
Maybe if I got some of them shoes, I'd be one step closer to reaching my ideal height of 8'4"...
I can stand at 5'10" whenever I want too.
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