"...but not 'cause we want eternal sleeeeep!" See? Regina Spektor's not offering suicide advice, she's offering her perspective on how to wear a scarf.
Whether you wear it like a noose or wear it in a less macabre fashion, scarves are the best way to add warmth and interest to boring, lame outfits. There I go with those pesky, fashion-y statements again. But seriously, whenever I'm standing in front of my closet from the months of October to April, I think: WWSSD? Let me break down the hip lingo for you--WWSSD stands for "What Would Scarf Sally Do?"
Scarf Sally is one of my alter egos, and please, no need to compliment her on the inventive name. My creativity knows no bounds. Anyway, Scarf Sally is a pipsqueak of a girl who only wears scarves. She's small, because some of my scarves are as well, and SS would never leave the house looking indecent. Whenever I'm wearing a tired, basic outfit, I consult SS for a quick moment. We usually banter back and forth for a few moments, and then I realize that I have to go to work, and "why do you always distract me when I just need you to help me pick out a damn scarf?!"
Sorry. But when you have 25 scarves to choose from (TO BE FAIR, most of them are $5 pieces of fabric bought from creepy street vendors in various locations), sometimes you need a little pipsqueak of a girl to narrow down the field. When I'm not feeling the whole "multiple personalities" thing, I go for color, sentimentality, and comfort--in that order. A black and white outfit looks far better with an patterned scarf, or at least a bright color. Please, no one needs to tell you that! And if I happen to be both cold and homesick (for a person or a place), I throw on the scarf I got while in Berlin (ooo, world traveler droppin' the country names) or one that I got from a friend. Finally, if I'm just freezing my buns off, I wear a terribly ugly (but oh-so-snuggly) grey knit scarf and call it a day.
And that, my friends, is the true meaning of Christmas.
3 comments:
Are you one of those people who likes to wear scarves when it's still, like 50 degrees out?
I just want to pull their scarves off and say "Jesus, it's not THAT cold out. I still wear shorts when I go running."
Sorry...I guess I'm a little more sensitive about scarves than I thought.
Of course I'm one of those people, Frank.
And when you try to rip off my scarf, I'll be running alonside, throwing various kinds of pants at you while screaming "DEAR GOD, YOUR THIGHS DO NOT ALWAYS NEED TO BE ON DISPLAY."
Yes, yes they do. It's for the good of mankind.
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