Dandy thoughts

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."

Mista Wilde certainly knows what he's talking about.

Deeply shallow

Alright, who saw Erin Brockovich? God, I love that movie. Mainly because I love any movie that makes it seem like being a lawyer just means spending a lot of time researching in dingy libraries, making all sorts of sordid deals with witnesses in dive bars, and having a huge impact on someone's life every single day.

But back to the matter at hand. There's a particular scene in that movie where Erin is talking to one of the members of the class-action suit that she's filing. Because this woman drank the awful, poisoned, CORPORATE water (that's not meant metaphorically), she gets cancer and has to have her breasts and uterus removed. Then, a slightly moving speech follows where she asks Erin if she's still a woman even though her female anatomy has been almost completely eradicated.

I ask myself a variation of this query a lot lately. But since I still have all my bits and pieces, it goes more like this: if I wear my uncle's plaid flannel button-down, jeans that are two sizes two big, and checkered Vans slip-ons at least 3x a week, am I still a woman (who cares about fashion)?

Thank heavens I keep a blog. Otherwise, the important questions just wouldn't be asked!

Sense and sensibility

Chicago, you've finally done it. After attempting to prance around your suburbs in all sorts of ill-begotten footwear for years on end, I find myself trolling the websites of L.L. Bean, Lands' End, and Target to find a pair of duck boots.

MOTHERFUCKING DUCK BOOTS*. Google that shit if you're blessed enough to not know what I'm talking about.

If you happen to spot me on the street and I'm wearing a pair of mid-calf, lace-up black/brown boots with massive rubber toes, please ignore me. God knows I'll be ashamed enough as it is without having someone I know call out my name and cringe at my footwear.

*OK, in all honesty, I'm equal parts ashamed and excited about procuring these boots. MY FEET WILL FINALLY BE WARM. I will be able to tread with assurance rather than trepidation! My hooker shoes will still have their moments. They just won't be subjected to black ice and 3+ inches of snow/slush.

One part Lars von Trier, one part Medea

My friend/resident film buff KMC (initials make everyone more mysterious! Even though most everyone knows who I'm referring to.) recently lent me a rash of films by that crazy director, and I watched my first one this past Monday. Since I have zero confidence in my ability to interpret films, I figured that I should start off my von Trier venture with a movie that had a plot I would understand. Medea it is! I liked it quite a bit, and while I've got all sorts of silly observations to attempt to impress KMC with, one thing that struck me on a bloggy, aesthetic level was the costuming of Medea. He's got her in a sort of black skull cap, and a long-sleeved, floor-length black dress. Both the skull cap and the dress look like they've been covered and re-covered with strips of torn black fabric, which created some interesting texture, and helped to convey (fairly obviously) the shredded remains of the life Medea had with Jason.

Fast forward to today when I decided that it would be SO COOL if I could dress like von Trier's Medea. No need to point out that I am a hopeless nerd. Some people might think it's creepy to emulate the style of a desperate woman who murdered her kids. I think that she's misunderstood and looks like she came off the Rodarte A/W '10 runway. Hence why I spent the entire day in two black dresses, ripped black tights, a navy wrap sweater, and bondage-y boots. It didn't necessarily scream "don't leave me with your children!" but I liked it well enough.

Just wait until I watch The Passion of Joan of Arc. Who knows what runway show I'll be able to reduce Carl Th. Dryer to!

Do. Not. Want.

OMGOMGOMGOGMOGMGOM.

OK, for a moment, ignore the fact that the shape of these shoes harkens back to the Spiceworld era. Instead, focus on the fact that a crystal bird is taking flight from the toe of this shoe. Miu Miu, your shoe designs slay me.

Look over here! A slightly feminist rant!

While this is technically considered old news, I can't help but be bothered every time it crosses my mind.

A few weeks ago, Kate Moss told Women's Wear Daily that one of her mottos was "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." The moment the words came out of her mouth, everyone from fashion critics to eating disorder groups jumped at the chance to crucify her. Fashion critics went a little easier on her, stating that perhaps she should have a different motto, while spokespeople for eating disorder awareness organizations blamed her for causing young, happy girls to be anorexic.

What Kate Moss said sounds stupid, yes. Of course food tastes better than bones feel, and anyway, that is an illogical comparision. However, does she deserve this amount of ridicule? No. It is literally in Moss' job description to be skinny. Models routinely get fired for even the slightest physical change, which certainly includes weight gain. So, berating her for having a skinny-friendly motto would be akin to lambasting a sumo wrestler for saying "Everything tastes as good as fat feels."

I whole-heartedly admit to being a feminist that focuses on body issues. For me, the mind and body of a woman are what lie at the core of feminism, ya hear? So, naturally, I've taken this whole Kate Moss thing to that level. To me, it seems like underlying issue in the Moss-hatin' trend is this: women can't do anything right with their bodies in the eyes of our society. You've got anti-obesity crusaders who are raging against Beth Ditto's "fat acceptance" attitude, anti-eating disorder activists who can't stand how skinny Kate Moss is, and the media who can't stand the "average" woman and try to sell diet books and 3-minute cake mixes with equal aplomb to push her toward one extreme or the other.

Kate Moss isn't the picture of health for the following reasons: she drinks, she smokes, she's been known to use cocaine, and probably doesn't drink enough water or eat enough fruits and vegetables because she's busy. Oh, and she's too skinny. I get that young girls, old women, and men look at models and wonder why they can't look just like that, and I think that is horrendously sad. But yelling at Kate Moss for doing her job and being vocal about it is attacking the symptom rather than the problem. How about we try to be healthy by our own standards rather than yelling at people who don't live up to impossible ones? Hmm...that might actually be difficult in this world.

Obviously, my solution is to start some sort of body-lovin' society once everything crumbles in 2012 and all we're left with is John Cusak and a whole lot of time to figure out how our body images and expectations got so twisted.

Christmas on Lover's Lane

http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth/Womens/Born+To+Be+Wild+Boots

"A boot should cover your toes. If it doesn't, it's just a sex toy."

--My mom, after I mentioned that I thought these would make a lovely Christmas gift.


Love you mama.